Funny Short Stories - Facebook Updates about my Son

I must teach my 3 yr old son how to eat an icecream; otherwise he is not going to stop contributing to our water scarcity problem everytime he has one. Recently, he had an icecream; the only place the cream couldn’t reach was his eyes. The icecream was dripping all over his face. To add on, he squeezed the icecream cup to stain his shirt and shorts. I had to pour 2 buckets of water to clean this guy.

I must teach my son some better ways to do the daily activities. Yesterday, while he was taking bath, he was sliding himself back and forth in the bathtub in order to mix the too hot water with the cold water.

I nominated three people in my life who yell at me the most; 1) My wife, 2) My Manager, and 3) My mother. You know who won? Take a guess?….Yes…you are right…My Son.

I should never take my 4 year old son in a lift/elevator, because he embarrasses me. Recently, i took him into one of the crowded apartment lift, where people were quietly waiting for their floors to arrive. My son, with a loud voice, 'Dad, why everybody is silent, tell me, dad, tell me, why everybody is silent, did you hear me dad? Why eve....'

i should not have taught my 3 year old son how to say 'thank you' because he uses it everytime in all possible situations. I say, 'boy, can you please get me a glass of water?' he, 'thank you', my wife, 'son, let us go to supermarket', he, 'thank you', i, 'stop saying thank you for everything and everytime', he, 'thank you' i, 'dont you understand? I said dont thank for everything', he, 'OK, I UNDERSTAND', I, 'thank you', he, 'thank you'

I should stop listening to kids. They confuse me. Last evening, my son was talking to one of my neighbors’ daughter(three-year old). He, “Does god exist?”. She, “God only knows whether god exists are not”, He, “True, true”.

I should stop my son being too creative as it affects my quality of living. Last evening , he was using my shirt hanger as a bike steering. I say "Son, please return the shirt hanger, I must hang my shirt" he goes "Dad, how is my new bike, drrrrrrr....." Now I hang my shirt on one of the door knobs.

 

I don’t know about elders but kids in India have enough independence. Yesterday, we were getting ready for a family invite at my office on the occasion of independence day celebration. I wore a blue shirt--in fact, I am a bit sentimental towards this shirt as my mom gifted this to me long back--and asked my son, “How do I look in this shirt?”. He, “Hahaha…you look funny and look at your hair!...I can’t stop laughing” further he called my mother and said, “Grandma, the shirt you bought for my dad looks funny.” Freedom of expression.

I go blind without spectacles. And, I should avoid removing my spectacles especially while waiting for bus at the bus stop. Last evening, I was waiting for my bus. After noticing no signs of any bus, I removed my spectacles to clean the dust. Meanwhile, a bus arrived; by the time I wore my spectacles to read the bus number, the bus had already left; it happened to be a bus of my route.

I have noticed that, when I search for something, I re-look at the same places where I looked once already. Lost my Office ID-badge? I search for it looking in the drawer, in the TV stand, and in the book-shelf. Now, I hurriedly go back and check again in the drawer, in the TV stand, and in the book-shelf and ask myself "gone nuts?"

 

Forget about me cutting my own finger nails, cutting nails of others is extremely difficult. Recently, I was helping my 8 year old son clipping his nails, he started screaming even before I started to clip. He, "aouch" I,"I didn't even touch your nail" he, "I thought you did" as I continued, he, "ahh" I, "son, you've to trust me, I'll clip it carefully, relax", And after few seconds again, he, "auhhaouch", he screamed again, this time I've really clipped his skin but I didn't believe until I saw his finger bleeding.

From now on, I should never make a grocery list in front of my three year old son because it affects my budget. Last evening, I was loudly listing my grocery list, "Refined Oil, 1/2 litre, detergent powder, 2 packets…mmm…fruit jam, one bottle…mmm…" beside me, my son, "FIVE STAR chocolate, 5 pieces, butter cookies, 2 packets (small), icecreams, 4, (two for me, and two for my brother)…mmm…Cadbury…."