Real Life Anecdotes About Google
According to global monthly search stats of google, the phrase “How to impress a girl” gets 135000 monthly searches, whereas the phrase “How to impress a boy” gets 12500 monthly searches. I bet that google must have manipulated the data of the second by increasing the number so that boys don’t get demotivated.
Google is inefficient, I say! Type google in google search engine and it takes 0.10 sec to find its own identity. 0.10 SECONDS. A superbrain search engine must say, immediately, without thinking even for a micro-milli sec that "You are typing in google". Ask my name, I would say "SRIDHAR" even before you complete the question.
Google is like my wife. It is difficult to understand my wife. Here is what google has done to me. Google prefers something else other than repeating the keyword
Real Life Anecdotes About Motorbikes
Some routine habits are hard to break. I routinely take office bus to commute to work. But, yesterday, I took my bike instead of office bus, as I was late to office. While leaving office, I happily took the office bus as per the routine leaving my bike in the office.
Combing my hair before leaving to work is waste of time. Every morning, I comb my hair, take my motorbike, wear the helmet, reach the office, remove my helmet; hairstyle changed ~()+=:-|
I must be really quick while I’m parking my bike. Last evening, this young guy zoomed in to a parking space I’m about to pull into.
Last evening, my son was playing an expensive game. After observing my riding the bike, filling the gas(petrol) at the gas stations, he, now, takes his tricyle, zoom it around the house--vroom--stops it at the kitchen entrance(gas station), opens an imaginary petrol tank and, using a broken pipe, he pretends to fill the petrol. With hiking petrol prices, I suggested him to change the game.
My 3 year old son imitates almost everything that he hears. Imitation is fine but that should'nt disturb anyone. Last evening, he was imitating the sound of my motor bike louder than the actual sound. I took him for a ride; started the bike, “Drrr”, he goes, “DDDDRRRRRR”, we rode on the main road; stopped at a traffic signal. My bike, “dubudubudubu”, my son with a loud voice, “DDDDDUUUUUBBBUUUDUUBBUU”, I knew 3 people got annoyed at the traffic signal because of my son.
Real Life Anecdotes About School
I still remember those school days when one of my teachers use to start the class saying "Good Morning students. Those who have not completed the homework, get out of the classroom and kneel down, and students who have done their homework, check the spelling mistakes before submitting the book. One spelling mistake, I will kill you". My question is, "Why, GOOD morning?"
I still remember, during school days, I was picked by my school captain to the team only because I was his best friend. I know, my team knows, my captain knows that I was the worst player any cricket team can ever have.
I still remember. During school days, i volunteerly raise my hand, to the series of questions teacher ask, and answer them wrong. 20 questions, 20 wrong answers by me. What joy in volunteering?
I still remember. During school days, while answering true of false questions, out of guess, I use to tick "True" for nine of the ten questions. And then, start wondering whether any test would ever have that high percentage of Trues.
I still remember. In school days, There was an attempt by half the classroom to claim a physics test paper, that scored 94%, but with no name on it. I was one among the class who tried to own this test paper.
My 3 year old son is performing worse in his preschool than I do at my work. Recently, his teacher asked, "What is your father's name?", He, "My father's name is 'Dad", Teacher, "What is your mother's name?", He, "My mother's name is 'Mom'"
Now I know how to wake up my 2-year old son. Today morning, I, "Son, wake up, it is time to go to school", He, "ZZZZ...ZZZ", I, "Your teacher will not allow you inside if you are late to school", He, "ZZZZZ....ZZZZ", I, "Don't you aspire to
Real Life Anecdotes About Telephone Cellphones
Last evening my mom was having a telephone conversation: “Yeah…no…never…ho..w..stupid…no..nsense…are you nuts?...I can’t…I said, I can’t…I don’t care…” guess with whom she was talking to? Yes…with my wife.
No doubt technology is reaching new heights. But inventors can spend little more time and enhance the telephone auto-response system. When I dial a wrong number I would be happy to hear "You have dialed a wrong number, let me dial the right number for you" instead of just saying "you have dialed a wrong number"
There are so many telephone numbers in my address book which I've never called for the past 145 years. I have no clue why it is still floating around. I know I am not going call these people, I know that they are not going to call me (In fact, I wonder if they are still alive), But I'm hesitant to throw these telephone numbers. I don't know for what joy I'm still preserving it.
Very Public: I go to public telephone booth and all my personal conversations are heard by the public who are waiting outside the booth. I wish we had sound-proof public telephone booths.
Why am I born? Why do I die? and what am I doing spending so much time in between loosing cell phones, going for haircuts and typing on facebook?
Have you heard of a person who lost his mobile phone, which was kept in the trouser's side pocket, while riding the bike? you guessed it. I lost my mobile phone. Moral of the story: :~(((((((((
I have 12 different sized suitcases at home, but their handles are broken. So, I always end up carrying these suitcases either on my shoulders or on my head while I travel with my family. I feel it is much easier to carry the family burden than to carry these family suitcases. Please! Inventors, Please! stop worrying about Iphones and Androids for sometime and do something about the suitcase handles
I think I should buy a transparent cell phone pouch. For the 3rd time for this month, I brought the empty cell phone pouch to office thinking that there is cell phone in it.
I wonder how to make my mom understand technology. She even answers the recorded messages of my mobile phone service provider. tring-tring, tring-tring! My mom picks the call and the call goes "Hi, get the caller tunes by sending an sms to 2435 with fre..." my mom interrupts, "No, but sridhar is not availab..." and recorded message continues "...or call us to get a free.." my mom "But, listen..."
I'd better safeguard my mobile phone, because, last night, in my dream I saw my 4 year old son dropping my cellphone in a bucket of water
Life has changed. My kids are not like I use to be. When I was a kid, the first word I uttered was, “Mummy”. But, recently, my kid said his first word, “Hello”. Perhaps, he saw either me or my wife were on the cell phone most of the time. My wife and I should stop talking over the cellphone in front the kid before he catches up the rest of the phrase; “Hello, why the hell did you call?”
Mobile phone service providers are the kindest of all. When I dial my own cell number, they say "please, try again after some time" and never say "you stupid, you have dialed your own number. Have you gone nuts? lost your brain...?..fool...?
My mom is very kind. She even answers the recorded messages of my mobile phone service provider. tring-tring, tring-tring! My mom picks the call and the call goes "Hi, get the caller tunes by sending an sms to 2435 with fre..." my mom interrupts "no, but sridhar is not.." and recorded message goes "...or call us to get a free.." my mom "but, listen..."
Some people are extremely patient. last night, I thought I called my close friend, spoke to him for 25 minutes after which a kind voice spoke from the other end of the phone saying "sir, I'm sorry, I think you've got the wrong number"
Real Life Anecdotes About Pillows
I have close to 13 books lying all over my bed. People think I read a lot. Actually I use these books as head rest instead of pillow, leg rest instead of pillow, hand rest instead of pillow.
Real Life Anecdotes About Coffee
In my office, the only one who always listen to me is the coffee machine. Always. no questions asked. latte? there he goes.
Next time I’d better not take coffee just before I leave to the office. Today morning, I burnt my tongue when I tried taking coffee in hurry as I was late to the office. What a burning day!
When will I improve my English? Oxford English Dictionary lists about 500,000 English words. Should I by-heart all these words to be a competent English speaker. I wish I were coffee machine; it has only 5 words to by-heart. tschff...ssstp...gboggle....trrrnn...tbooft. How Easy.
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